Group begin by facing away from the audience, standing in a line and leaning on each other. The narrators stand either end of the line.
Who lived round the corner and just up the hill.
(Point over shoulders with thumbs. Look up stage left)
He worked very hard – coz it was his job
To look after the widows – give ‘em all a few bob.
(Reach into pockets. Pull out money)
Narrator 2: Coz the guys at the top, called James, John and Pete
(Salute, stand to attention. 3 figures step forward)
Had better things to do than make ends meet.
(3 figures scratch heads, look dumb)
But Phil had the brains, and the ‘A’ levels too,
(All tap side of forehead. Lick finger and chalk up ‘1’)
So he’d dish out the bread and the gladiator stew.
(Some butter bread. Others ladle soup)
Narrator 1: Then one morn while Phil was on his way
(Turn and step)
With his lunch and his calculator like any other day,
(Some bite a sandwich. Others use a calculator)
He turned round the corner and met a guy in white –
(Turn back to face audience, look surprised)
With wings and halo and it gave him quite a fright!
(All pose as angels. Flap wings. Angelic smiles)
Narrator 2: Our Phil wasn’t used to early morning shocks,
(Jump back in horror)
His hair stood on end and he dropped his sandwich box!
(One group hold up air. Others look at floor)
The Angel in white said: ‘I’ve got a job for you.’
(Mouth these words, while pointing to the audience)
Phil said: ‘But I’m busy, and I think I’m catching flu!’
(Shake heads, back away, and sneeze)
The Angel said: ‘It’s Gaza – that’s where you’ve got to go.’
(Point emphatically off stage)
‘But there’s a rail strike,’ Phil replied, ‘And we’re miles from Heathrow.’
(Form a picket line. Look off into distance)
Narrator 1: The Angel wasn’t bothered, he just took Phil away
(Shrug. Place right hand on throat, and pull)
And Phil landed in the desert, it just wasn’t his day.
(Jump as if landing. Kick ground angrily)
Then came a carriage, with a really posh gent;
(Watch carriage zoom past. Look posh)
Phil thought he’d hitch a lift, so over he went.
(Hold out thumb)
Narrator 2: Now the guy in the bus was very well bred.
(Said with a posh accent)
(Tighten up tie)
Went to public school, took his hols in the med.
(Read books. Laze in sun, drink)
Had plenty of friends, and servants to match.
(Pat each other on back. All bow)
But with his high living there seemed to be a catch.
(Look uncertain and shrug)
Narrator 1: Coz he still wasn’t happy, and he weren’t satisfied
(Look miserable and bored)
So he was reading the Bible, to see what was inside.
But though he pondered long, and studied the Word,
(Group look deep in thought. Look down at book)
It weren’t like nothing else he’d ever heard.
(Scratch head. Look perplexed)
Narrator 2: So just as the carriage pulled up by the side
(Pull on oversize handbrake)
He saw old Phil out thumbing for a ride;
(Stick out thumb)
So he asked him on board, he offered him a lift;
(Beckon with finger)
And when Phil saw the Bible he soon got the drift.
(Look deliberately; then tap side of nose, knowingly)
Narrator 1: ‘D’ya know what you’re reading?’ Asked our old Phil.
(Tap hand with finger)
‘One doesn’t,’ said the gent, ‘But one hopes one soon will.’ (Posh voice)
(Stand in a royal stance; one hand behind back, the other out front)
‘Sure,’ said Phil, ‘I’m the man in the know.’
(Tap chest with thumb confidently)
‘And while we have a chat we can go to Heathrow?’
(Point off stage)
Narrator 2: So Phil and the gent had a natter on the way
(In twos, turn and make mouths with hands as if nattering to each other)
And Phil told him all about what Jesus had to say.
(One hand points upwards, other opens wide with shock)
How he suffered and died, and hung on a tree;
(One person becomes Christ. Two others crucify. Others mourn)
Then rose from the dead for everyone to see.
(Christ figure steps forward – ALIVE! Others are amazed)
Narrator 1: ‘What does one do now?’ Asked the city gent.
(All assume Stan Laurel poses scratching the top of their head)
So Phil told him to believe, and asked him to repent.
(Point to imaginary Bible. Bow head in repentance)
And just at the mo. they were passing by some water;
(Point at water)
So the Gent got baptised coz he reckoned that he oughta.
(In twos, one pick up a bucket and tip over the other person)
Narrator 2: The gent was overjoyed, and forgot he was so posh,
(Look ecstatic, then realise and look embarrassed)
Jumped in the river and had himself a wash.
(Step as if to dive into river)
And when he came up with his sins all clean,
(Wipe face and stand upright)
Our friend Phil was nowhere to be seen.
(Look round, shocked)
Narrator 1: Now if you’re wondering what this story’s all about
What we’re trying to say is: ‘Just Watch Out!’
(Mouth these words)
Be ready for the Lord to take you where he will,
(Hands on throats)
Even if you’re busy, like our old mate Phil.
Narrator 2: Coz the Spirit’s hard at work, just waiting for us all
(Stop digging. Look up. Dig twice as fast)
To listen to his voice and follow up his call.
(Hand on ear. Watch something zoom past)
No excuse will do, coz the Lord wants us in his work,
(Shake heads. Each point to themselves)
And just like Phil – he can use any burk.
(Nod and point to persons next to them)
Narrator 1: It isn’t how good you are that helps him make his choice,
(Try and look good)
It’s the ones who are ready and will listen to his voice.
(Turn smartly. Hand on ear)
So watch out for the angels, coz they’re all working still.
(Flap wings, smile)
And the Lord wants you to go – just like our mate Phil.
(Point to audience, look offstage)
These resources were first published in 2003